Week 8 Recap
Week 8 is dunzo!
A few reminders before we get to the recap:
Thanks to all of you for paying!
Payout is:
Championship winner - $180
Championship runner up - $20
There is a poll up - should the Trade Deadline be December 4 (the Wednesday between the last week of the regular season and the playoffs) or should there be no trade deadline at
all? As always, keep in mind that we keep 3 players after the season, so trades will be judged a little more carefully late in the year to make sure no collusion is going
on with one-sided deals.
Week 1's recap is here.
Week 2 is here.
Week 3 is here.
Week 4 is here.
Week 5 is here.
Week 6 is here.
Week 7 is here.
Your standings:
I promise not to make Andy Reid and Ohio State's band a weekly thing at the top of the post, but these two were too good to pass up.
Baby Andy Reid
Ohio State's Marching Band being awesome
Miley's VMA Foam Finger 144, Titsburgh Feelers 57
If only Brett had put Steven Hauschka into his lineup, he would have closed the gap from an 87 point loss to an 85 point loss! Team Aziz got 12+ points from six players (Peyton, Freddy Jax, Andre "Duke" Ellington, AJ Green, Welker and Jordyn Nelson. They would have beaten every single team this week and are 8-0. I smell the 2007 Patriots!
Brett falls to 2-6 and ninth place overall, with only Emmanuel Sanders (23) scoring double digit points for him this week. Titsburgh will face the amazing 5-3 Somewhere Over The Dwayne Bowe next week while we have an awesome 1-2 matchup between 8-0 Miley and 6-2 Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend. Aziz will have his work cut out for him, with Peyton Manning, Wes Welker, Andre Ellington and MATT PRATER on bye.
Shmitty Werbenmanjensen 143, Somewhere Over The Dwayne Bowe 117
I certainly picked a bad week to lose, as the rest of the teams in the hunt for a playoff spot all won, dropping me to fifth overall. Matt put up a great week, with 12+ points from Brees, Gore, McFadden, Antonio Brown, Cameron and the Bengals' D. I had some good weeks (Stafford - 26, Bryant - 22 and Graham - 18) but lacked the other few big games I needed to come out on top.
Shmitty is two games out of the final playoff spot, in 6th place at 3-5, but there are still five weeks of regular season left and anything can happen. As previously mentioned, I fell to 5-3 and 5th place overall and will face Brett this week with Matt Stafford and Hakeem Nicks on bye and three new players on my squad (Brady, Jacquizz and Harvin) while Matt gets fourth place Team Sexton in what should be a good matchup (the preview projects a 130-130 tie, and you know how accurate these projections are!). Matt will be without Frank Gore, who is on bye.
SCLSU Mud Dogs 138, Juicy J 126
Tater's Tots ended the Juicy J's 2 week win streak with a 12 point victory led by Calvin Johnson's 50 point (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) performance. Tony Romo (20), Larry Fitzgerald (14), Pierre Garcon (11) and the Broncos' D (19) were his other double digit scorers. Juicy J had a good all-around week, with nobody scoring fewer than 8 points, but also nobody scoring more than 22, lacking the breakout game like Megatron that could have tilted his team to victory. DAMMIT JUICY J, WHY DIDN'T YOU HAVE A 50 POINT SCORING WR ALSO?
Tate moves up to 5-3 and third place, and is inching past Kyle and myself in the points scored tiebreak. Juicy J remains in 8th place, three games out of the playoffs with five to play. Glad to see his team put up some fight over the past few weeks, though (except it came at the expense of my team. DAMMIT!). Tate goes against the last place Don't Suh Me Bro this week, but has Megatron, Fitzgerald, Julius Thomas, Broncos D and Carson Palmer on bye, so DSMB comes in at a huge advantage. Juicy J faces Team Kelly in a chance to move up to 7th place, but will be without Eric Decker, Anquan Boldin, Vernon Davis and Colin Kaepernick (and already has Roddy White, DeAngelo Williams, Sidney Rice and Jeff Cumberland at questionable or worse).
Team Sexton 138, Don't Suh Me Bro 82
It's fitting that Andy Dalton's breakout game comes at the expense of Ben's team (in Ben's defense, he'd trade a fantasy L for a real life Bungles W every week, and I would too with the Skins). Dalton scored 31 and Bush and Knowshon scored 24 each to allow Sexton Rexton to breeze to victory (that would have been punny if he had Drew Brees). Ben only got double digits out of Harry Douglas (24), Adrian Peterson (17) and the Shehawks D (10) and falls to last place. He shook things up, dealing Brady, Harvin and Jacquizz to me for Cam Newton, Keenan Allen and Joseph Randle, so he'll certainly be a new look team this week.
5-3 Team Sexton faces 3-5 Shmitty this week in what I already said was a good-looking matchup; Kyle will be without Bush, Shorts, Moreno and Cobb this week. 1-6-1 Bean looks to take down the mighty SCLSU Mud Dogs with just Mendenhall, Blackmon and Rueben Randle on bye this week.
Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend 107, Team Kelly 77
MTFG continues to roll, winning their fifth straight game, albeit not in as convincing fashion as the rest of them. RGIII's poor performance (3) handicapped his point total, but he got 15+ out of Charles, Le'Veon Bell, Demaryius Thomas and Mason Crosby. Team Kelly had an even worse QB week, getting -1 point out of Michael Vick, and got double digits out of just four players (MJD - 17, Victor Cruz - 15, 49ers D/ST - 11 and Dan Bailey - 17). They had some big games sitting out this week, as Russell Wilson would have provided a 15 point upgrade over Vick and Golden Tate would have scored 25 more than Jennings or 23 more than Steven Jackson this week. Hindsight, of course, is 20/20.
6-2 Peter Pan faces the top team in the league this week with just Demaryius Thomas on bye while 2-5-1 Team Kelly faces 2-6 Juicy J in the battle for 7th place without MJD, Cruz, the 49ers D/ST and Peyton Hillis.
Now, onto your NFL GIFCaps!
Panthers 31 Buccaneers 13
Cam Newton put on a show on Thursday night, throwing for 221 yards and 2 TD and running for 50 yards and another TD. DeAngelo Williams finally got into the end zone for the first time
this season as well for Carolina. For the Bucs, Mike Glennon was actually not awful (30/51 for 275 and a TD) but struggled in getting the ball to his best receiver (Vincent Jackson had
5 catches for 79 yards but on 13 targets). Mike James looked competent in relief of Doug Martin, but nothing special (10 carries for 39 yards and 4 catches for 25 yards).
Carolina is two games out of the NFC South race, but just a half game behind Detroit for the last wild card spot in the NFC. The Buccaneers are currently six games out of the division
lead after seven games. ouch.
The Buccaneers are even failing with their signs. TOUCHDOWN MIKE (TOLBERT)
DeAngelo Williams finally gets into the end zone, does mediocre dance
Cam Newton scared by the cannon
Steve Mariucci scared even more by the cannon
Poor Bucs
Lions 31, Cowgirls 30
Wow, this was a crazy one. 20 points were scored in the first three quarters combined while 41 were scored in the fourth. Calvin Johnson caught 14 passes for 329 yards and a TD, which
is friggin absurd (and the second highest single game receiving total of all time). Matt Stafford went 33/48 for 488 yards, 1 TD and 2 picks. To be honest, the Cowgirls didn't even
play that well (Romo was under 50% passing for 206 yards and they ran 26 times for 62 yards) but were kept in by the Lions' 4 turnovers. Matt Stafford led an awesome final minute drive
and jumped over the line to score the game winning TD with 12 seconds left rather than spiking the ball. Wow. That was one for the ages.
Detroit and Dallas' playoff standings haven't changed despite the outcome, with the Cowgirls remaining in fourth place, a game ahead of Philadelphia while the Lions are still in sixth
place at 5-3, half of a game ahead of Carolina and Chicago.
I apologize, but half of this week's GIFcap will come from the Lions-Cowgirls game. If for some reason this entry isn't enough for you, check out Buzzfeed's; they have like 20 gifs from this game alone.
Megatron had an okay day.
Dez Bryant can sure catch passes with his momma-slappin hands
Frat Stafford FTW.
ANIMATED JIM SCHWARTZ DOT GIF
DEZ BRYANT THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM DOT GIFS
Chiefs 23, Browns 17
It wasn't interesting, but it was enough to get the Chiefs to 8-0. The two prize quarterbacks of the 2005 Draft's first round (HAHAHAHAHA oh wait my team took Jason Campbell one spot
after Aaron Rodgers /kills self) played pretty well, with Campbell going 22/36 for 293 and 2 TD and Smith going 24/36 for 225 and 2 TD (and no turnovers were had by either). Josh
Gordon had a nice day receiving (5 for 132 and a TD) and that was about all that was fantasy-relevant from this one.
Kansas City is obviously still in first place, as they're the only undefeated team left. Denver's victory keeps them within a game, though, and the teams have still not met. The Browns
are still just a game and a half behind sixth place San Diego, but fell three games behind NFC North leader Cincinnati.
The Chiefs are still undefeated
Things that are wrong with this play:
1) The Browns scored a TD on the Chiefs
2) Jason Campbell threw a TD pass in 2013
3) see 1 and 2
Patriots 27, Dolphins 17
The Dolphins went up 14-0 early and were up 17-3 at the half. The Pats have looked pretty meh this year, even when they've won, so I thought they were in trouble. BUT TOMMY BRADY DON'T
GIVE A SHIT IF I THINK THEY'RE IN TROUBLE. He actually played like garbage (13/22 for 116, 1 TD and 1 pick) but did enough to get them the victory along with Stevan Ridley (14 for 79
and a TD). Once again, Ryan Tannehill threw a lot of passes (22/44) for some TD's and INT's (2 of each), fumbled (once) and was sacked a lot of times (6). Lamar Miller and Daniel
Thomas ran for 4.9 and 5.2 yards per carry, respectively, which bodes well for their run game that has been poopy all season (now up to 23rd in the league at 89.1 yards per game).
The Pats moved two games ahead of the Jets in the AFC East race (and two and a half ahead of Miami) with this win. Miami is a game out of the wild card (as is most of the AFC).
Jared Odrick sacks Tom Brady, knees him in the head, and then does this dance
What is's like to be a Dolphins coach or fan:
Saaaaaaaaaaack
Aaron Dobson alert!
Tom Brady threw that with a nasty swollen hand:
Pretty cool pick if you ask me
Saints 35, Bills 17
Drew Brees threw five TD's: 2 each to Jimmy Graham and Kenny Stills and one to Lance "In My Pants" Moore. The Bills actually played pretty well most of the time, but turned the ball
over three times and gave up two 40+ yard TD passes to Kenny Stills. Kenny Stills. Kenny Stills. You can't spot the Saints 3 turnovers AND give up two bombs to Kenny Stills. The Saints
are on top of their division by two games and sit just a half game behind the Seahawks for first place in the NFC West. The Bills fall to 3-5, but still just a game and a half out of
the last playoff spot. So what if there are seven teams that stand in their way?
LANCE GON DANCE LIKE HE GOT ANTS IN HIS PANTS
Thad Lewis, NFL Quarterback:
Giants 15, Eagles 7
If you had to watch this game, I'm sorry. The Eagles' elite new offense gained 200 total yards and were shut out - their only score of the day was on a bad snap on a punt recovered for
a TD. Not like the Giants were much better, gaining 325 total yards and kicking five field goals. There are a bunch of fantasy contributors on both teams that had meh days thanks to no
offensive TD's, from Shady McCoy (15 runs for 48 and 4 catches for 17) to DeSean Jackson (8 catches for 63) to Victor Cruz (7 catches for 86 yards). Waiver wire favorite Peyton Hillis
ran 20 times for 70 yards and caught 3 passes for 15, so he was at least servicable. With the Cowgirls' loss, the Eagles stay just one game out of the NFC East lead while the Giants
creep up to just two games back (despite having a 19 point worse differential than winless Tampa Bay). This is just sad.
Um, ouch
There were plenty of lowlights:
Matt Barkley, NFL Quarterback
49ers 42, Jaguars 10
Welp, it's not like we expected anything different to happen. Just because it's in London doesn't mean the Jaguars are suddenly good and the 49ers are suddenly terrible. The Niners
scored early and often, taking a 28-0 lead in the game's first 23:11. Jacksonville tacked on the next 10 points, but it was still no contest. Frank Gore and Colin Kaepernick each ran
for two TD's and the 49ers carried 38 times for 221 yards in the game. MJD looked alive, running 19 times for 75 yards and catching 6 passes for 47 yards but for no TD's because
Jaguars. The 49ers are still just a game back from Seattle for first in the NFC West while Jacksonville is terrible and holds a half game lead on Tampa Bay for worst in the league.
Kaep Party
No love for you, #49. Only love for my bicep.
ENGLAND, WHY DO WE EVEN LET YOU BE A COUNTRY?
The Jaguras' season in a nutshell:
Bengals 49, Jets 9
Marvin Jones scored four touchdowns despite only playing 19 snaps in this game. Andy Dalton went a cool, gingery 19/30 for 325, 5 TD and a pick. Not wanting to be outdone, Geno Smith
threw 2 TD's of his own (to Cincy defensive backs, that is). The Jets' backfield went from "oh, nice, they have a clear starting RB!" back to "WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK ARE THEY DOING AT
RB?!?" with Chris Ivory, Bilal Powell and Alex Green splitting 19 carries for a grand total of 50 yards. When Matt Simms leads your team in rushing by 15 yards, you're doing it wrong.
WHO IS MARVIN JONES AND WHY DID HE CATCH FOUR GINGERBALLS FOR TD'S?
Um, ouch
Broncos 45, Redskins 21
Remember when the Redskins led 21-7 midway through the third quarter? Or took a 21-14 lead into the fourth? Well, the Broncos scored 38 points in a row to end the game, including 31 in
the fourth quarter. The Skins turned the ball over five times (2 INT, 1 fumble by RGIII, 2 INT, 1 being a pick-six by Kirk Cousins), which is always a good idea if you're trying to
beat the best team in the league (sorry, Chiefs, but you're just not). Peyton Manning shook off the cobwebs in the fourth and ended up going 30/44 for 354, 4 TD and 3 picks (one
pick-six to MeAngelo Hall); Knowshon Moreno, Wes Welker, Demaryius Thomas and Joel Dreessen caught the magicmanningballz in the end zone for scores. Jordan Reed looked good again (8
catches for 90 yards) and Alfred Morris was solid (17 for 93 and a TD) but the Skins inexplicably stopped running the ball altogether in the third quarter and changed their gameplan to
RGIII throwing derpy armpunts 10 yards past any receiver, which was fun.
The Broncos still lurk a game behind the Chiefs for first place in the AFC West (and the AFC) while the Skins are just a game and a half behind Dallass for the NFC East title. That's
just sad.
The Redskins' only offensive highlight of the day:
Welp, at least they handled Peyton Manning (kinda):
Von Miller is back
If RGIII is hurt badly, I will cry
Um, ouch. No flag on the play, either. QB'S ARE SISSIES AMIRITE
Raiders 21, Steelers 18
The Redskins are the only team to beat the Raiders at home this year. Three first half rushing TD's gave the Raiders just enough to escape with the W. Terrelle Pryor had more rushing
yards on his first run than he had passing all day (93 to 88) and threw two picks, but it was good enough to win. Seriously, the Raiders had one first down and 35 yards of total
offense in the second half AND WON THE GAME. Big Ben tried to rally the Stillers in the fourth, and Le'Veon Bell punched in a run with 1:24 left to bring the Raiders' lead to 3, but
the Raiders got the onside kick and beat the Steelers and hahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahhaha
Oakland is just a game out of the last wild card spot and Pittsburgh is two back.
Terrelle Pryor 1, Steelers' D 0 (er, I guess 6-0?)
The Milledgeville, GA Police Department can confirm that Roethlisberger is a tough guy to take down.
I love me some fat guy sacks. Wait, that came out wrong.
Cardinals 27, Falcons 13
Goodness gracious, what happened to the Falcons? I know they're decimated by injuries, but a two touchdown loss to the Cardinals? At least in their other four losses, they kept it
within a TD. Sweet Karma caught up with Matt Ryan, as he went 34 for 61 (!) for 301 yards, 1 TD and 4 picks. The Falcons only attempted 14 carries and Matt Ryan was their leading
rusher with 13 yards. Steven Jackson ran 11 times for 6 yards in his return to the lineup. Harry Douglas did catch 12 balls for 121 yards. Oh wait, I should talk about the team that
won, shouldn't I? Carson Palmer was 13/18 for 171 and 2 TD (1 pick), Andre Ellington carried 15 times for 154 yards, including an 80 yard TD run, and Larry Fitzgerald caught 4 passes
for 48 yards and a TD.
The Cardinals are a game out of the last wildcard spot and head into their bye this week likely feeling pretty good about themselves at 4-4, while the Falcons are two and a half games
out of a wild card spot with a bevy of tough games remaining on their schedule (SEA, NO, @GB, @SF, CAR and @CAR). Good thing I "bought low" on their Super Bowl odds after their week 3
loss to Miami.
I found no GIFs from this game and am not really upset about that. Maybe I'll dig around for that Andre Ellington run.
Packers 44, Vikings 31
If you like points and big plays, this game was awesome. Cordarrelle Patterson took the opening kickoff back for an NFL record-setting 109 yard TD, which is cool. Jordy Nelson caught a
76 yard TD pass and after forcing a three and out, Micah Hyde had a 93 yard punt return TD to give the Packers a 2 TD lead late in the first half. Aaron Rodgers was surgical, going
24/29 for 285 yards and 2 TD's. Eddie Lacy had another nice game, carrying 29 times for 94 yards and a TD. Jarrett Boykin caught 5 passes for 89 yards, which is exciting. Adrian
Peterson had another good-not-great game, running 13 times for 60 yards and a TD and catching three passes for 23 yards. Cordarrelle Patterson is good at returning kickoffs 109 yards
for TD's.
This was Cordarrelle Patterson scoring the longest kickoff return TD in NFL history.
Jordy Nelson can run 76 yards faster than I can
Sometimes you just gotta do things yourself. Especially if you play for the Vikings
Seahawks 14, Rams 9
If you watched this game, you were rewarded with an exciting final minute after 59 minutes of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. The Seahawks had 135 yards of total offense, 80 of which came on the
Golden Tate taunting play that I thought should have been picked off. Even when they're awful, they win. Zac Stacy ran 26 times for 134 yards, but Kellen Clemens is terrible (15 for 31
for 158 and 2 picks). I lost in a different fantasy league thanks to Golden Tate's second TD. DAMMIT.
Seattle is still first in the NFC, leading NO by half of a game and SF by a whole game in the division. St Louis is two games out of the final wild card spot in the NFC.
How the F did the Rams not score a TD at the end? And no, I'm not referring to their actual chances on their last play (because it was a stupid play). I'm talking about having like
100000 chances from within the red zone.
In case you wondered, you don't have to be a good football player to taunt the shit out of the other team. Exhibit A: Golden Tate.
Robert Quinn had back to back sacks:
Sources:
http://www.gifdsports.com/
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-16-best-gifs-from-nfl-week-8-2013-10
A few reminders before we get to the recap:
Thanks to all of you for paying!
Payout is:
Championship winner - $180
Championship runner up - $20
There is a poll up - should the Trade Deadline be December 4 (the Wednesday between the last week of the regular season and the playoffs) or should there be no trade deadline at
all? As always, keep in mind that we keep 3 players after the season, so trades will be judged a little more carefully late in the year to make sure no collusion is going
on with one-sided deals.
Week 1's recap is here.
Week 2 is here.
Week 3 is here.
Week 4 is here.
Week 5 is here.
Week 6 is here.
Week 7 is here.
Your standings:
I promise not to make Andy Reid and Ohio State's band a weekly thing at the top of the post, but these two were too good to pass up.
Baby Andy Reid
Ohio State's Marching Band being awesome
Miley's VMA Foam Finger 144, Titsburgh Feelers 57
If only Brett had put Steven Hauschka into his lineup, he would have closed the gap from an 87 point loss to an 85 point loss! Team Aziz got 12+ points from six players (Peyton, Freddy Jax, Andre "Duke" Ellington, AJ Green, Welker and Jordyn Nelson. They would have beaten every single team this week and are 8-0. I smell the 2007 Patriots!
Brett falls to 2-6 and ninth place overall, with only Emmanuel Sanders (23) scoring double digit points for him this week. Titsburgh will face the amazing 5-3 Somewhere Over The Dwayne Bowe next week while we have an awesome 1-2 matchup between 8-0 Miley and 6-2 Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend. Aziz will have his work cut out for him, with Peyton Manning, Wes Welker, Andre Ellington and MATT PRATER on bye.
Shmitty Werbenmanjensen 143, Somewhere Over The Dwayne Bowe 117
I certainly picked a bad week to lose, as the rest of the teams in the hunt for a playoff spot all won, dropping me to fifth overall. Matt put up a great week, with 12+ points from Brees, Gore, McFadden, Antonio Brown, Cameron and the Bengals' D. I had some good weeks (Stafford - 26, Bryant - 22 and Graham - 18) but lacked the other few big games I needed to come out on top.
Shmitty is two games out of the final playoff spot, in 6th place at 3-5, but there are still five weeks of regular season left and anything can happen. As previously mentioned, I fell to 5-3 and 5th place overall and will face Brett this week with Matt Stafford and Hakeem Nicks on bye and three new players on my squad (Brady, Jacquizz and Harvin) while Matt gets fourth place Team Sexton in what should be a good matchup (the preview projects a 130-130 tie, and you know how accurate these projections are!). Matt will be without Frank Gore, who is on bye.
SCLSU Mud Dogs 138, Juicy J 126
Tater's Tots ended the Juicy J's 2 week win streak with a 12 point victory led by Calvin Johnson's 50 point (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) performance. Tony Romo (20), Larry Fitzgerald (14), Pierre Garcon (11) and the Broncos' D (19) were his other double digit scorers. Juicy J had a good all-around week, with nobody scoring fewer than 8 points, but also nobody scoring more than 22, lacking the breakout game like Megatron that could have tilted his team to victory. DAMMIT JUICY J, WHY DIDN'T YOU HAVE A 50 POINT SCORING WR ALSO?
Tate moves up to 5-3 and third place, and is inching past Kyle and myself in the points scored tiebreak. Juicy J remains in 8th place, three games out of the playoffs with five to play. Glad to see his team put up some fight over the past few weeks, though (except it came at the expense of my team. DAMMIT!). Tate goes against the last place Don't Suh Me Bro this week, but has Megatron, Fitzgerald, Julius Thomas, Broncos D and Carson Palmer on bye, so DSMB comes in at a huge advantage. Juicy J faces Team Kelly in a chance to move up to 7th place, but will be without Eric Decker, Anquan Boldin, Vernon Davis and Colin Kaepernick (and already has Roddy White, DeAngelo Williams, Sidney Rice and Jeff Cumberland at questionable or worse).
Team Sexton 138, Don't Suh Me Bro 82
It's fitting that Andy Dalton's breakout game comes at the expense of Ben's team (in Ben's defense, he'd trade a fantasy L for a real life Bungles W every week, and I would too with the Skins). Dalton scored 31 and Bush and Knowshon scored 24 each to allow Sexton Rexton to breeze to victory (that would have been punny if he had Drew Brees). Ben only got double digits out of Harry Douglas (24), Adrian Peterson (17) and the Shehawks D (10) and falls to last place. He shook things up, dealing Brady, Harvin and Jacquizz to me for Cam Newton, Keenan Allen and Joseph Randle, so he'll certainly be a new look team this week.
5-3 Team Sexton faces 3-5 Shmitty this week in what I already said was a good-looking matchup; Kyle will be without Bush, Shorts, Moreno and Cobb this week. 1-6-1 Bean looks to take down the mighty SCLSU Mud Dogs with just Mendenhall, Blackmon and Rueben Randle on bye this week.
Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend 107, Team Kelly 77
MTFG continues to roll, winning their fifth straight game, albeit not in as convincing fashion as the rest of them. RGIII's poor performance (3) handicapped his point total, but he got 15+ out of Charles, Le'Veon Bell, Demaryius Thomas and Mason Crosby. Team Kelly had an even worse QB week, getting -1 point out of Michael Vick, and got double digits out of just four players (MJD - 17, Victor Cruz - 15, 49ers D/ST - 11 and Dan Bailey - 17). They had some big games sitting out this week, as Russell Wilson would have provided a 15 point upgrade over Vick and Golden Tate would have scored 25 more than Jennings or 23 more than Steven Jackson this week. Hindsight, of course, is 20/20.
6-2 Peter Pan faces the top team in the league this week with just Demaryius Thomas on bye while 2-5-1 Team Kelly faces 2-6 Juicy J in the battle for 7th place without MJD, Cruz, the 49ers D/ST and Peyton Hillis.
Now, onto your NFL GIFCaps!
Panthers 31 Buccaneers 13
Cam Newton put on a show on Thursday night, throwing for 221 yards and 2 TD and running for 50 yards and another TD. DeAngelo Williams finally got into the end zone for the first time
this season as well for Carolina. For the Bucs, Mike Glennon was actually not awful (30/51 for 275 and a TD) but struggled in getting the ball to his best receiver (Vincent Jackson had
5 catches for 79 yards but on 13 targets). Mike James looked competent in relief of Doug Martin, but nothing special (10 carries for 39 yards and 4 catches for 25 yards).
Carolina is two games out of the NFC South race, but just a half game behind Detroit for the last wild card spot in the NFC. The Buccaneers are currently six games out of the division
lead after seven games. ouch.
The Buccaneers are even failing with their signs. TOUCHDOWN MIKE (TOLBERT)
DeAngelo Williams finally gets into the end zone, does mediocre dance
Cam Newton scared by the cannon
Steve Mariucci scared even more by the cannon
Poor Bucs
Lions 31, Cowgirls 30
Wow, this was a crazy one. 20 points were scored in the first three quarters combined while 41 were scored in the fourth. Calvin Johnson caught 14 passes for 329 yards and a TD, which
is friggin absurd (and the second highest single game receiving total of all time). Matt Stafford went 33/48 for 488 yards, 1 TD and 2 picks. To be honest, the Cowgirls didn't even
play that well (Romo was under 50% passing for 206 yards and they ran 26 times for 62 yards) but were kept in by the Lions' 4 turnovers. Matt Stafford led an awesome final minute drive
and jumped over the line to score the game winning TD with 12 seconds left rather than spiking the ball. Wow. That was one for the ages.
Detroit and Dallas' playoff standings haven't changed despite the outcome, with the Cowgirls remaining in fourth place, a game ahead of Philadelphia while the Lions are still in sixth
place at 5-3, half of a game ahead of Carolina and Chicago.
I apologize, but half of this week's GIFcap will come from the Lions-Cowgirls game. If for some reason this entry isn't enough for you, check out Buzzfeed's; they have like 20 gifs from this game alone.
Megatron had an okay day.
Dez Bryant can sure catch passes with his momma-slappin hands
Frat Stafford FTW.
ANIMATED JIM SCHWARTZ DOT GIF
DEZ BRYANT THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM DOT GIFS
Chiefs 23, Browns 17
It wasn't interesting, but it was enough to get the Chiefs to 8-0. The two prize quarterbacks of the 2005 Draft's first round (HAHAHAHAHA oh wait my team took Jason Campbell one spot
after Aaron Rodgers /kills self) played pretty well, with Campbell going 22/36 for 293 and 2 TD and Smith going 24/36 for 225 and 2 TD (and no turnovers were had by either). Josh
Gordon had a nice day receiving (5 for 132 and a TD) and that was about all that was fantasy-relevant from this one.
Kansas City is obviously still in first place, as they're the only undefeated team left. Denver's victory keeps them within a game, though, and the teams have still not met. The Browns
are still just a game and a half behind sixth place San Diego, but fell three games behind NFC North leader Cincinnati.
The Chiefs are still undefeated
Things that are wrong with this play:
1) The Browns scored a TD on the Chiefs
2) Jason Campbell threw a TD pass in 2013
3) see 1 and 2
Patriots 27, Dolphins 17
The Dolphins went up 14-0 early and were up 17-3 at the half. The Pats have looked pretty meh this year, even when they've won, so I thought they were in trouble. BUT TOMMY BRADY DON'T
GIVE A SHIT IF I THINK THEY'RE IN TROUBLE. He actually played like garbage (13/22 for 116, 1 TD and 1 pick) but did enough to get them the victory along with Stevan Ridley (14 for 79
and a TD). Once again, Ryan Tannehill threw a lot of passes (22/44) for some TD's and INT's (2 of each), fumbled (once) and was sacked a lot of times (6). Lamar Miller and Daniel
Thomas ran for 4.9 and 5.2 yards per carry, respectively, which bodes well for their run game that has been poopy all season (now up to 23rd in the league at 89.1 yards per game).
The Pats moved two games ahead of the Jets in the AFC East race (and two and a half ahead of Miami) with this win. Miami is a game out of the wild card (as is most of the AFC).
Jared Odrick sacks Tom Brady, knees him in the head, and then does this dance
What is's like to be a Dolphins coach or fan:
Saaaaaaaaaaack
Aaron Dobson alert!
Tom Brady threw that with a nasty swollen hand:
Pretty cool pick if you ask me
Saints 35, Bills 17
Drew Brees threw five TD's: 2 each to Jimmy Graham and Kenny Stills and one to Lance "In My Pants" Moore. The Bills actually played pretty well most of the time, but turned the ball
over three times and gave up two 40+ yard TD passes to Kenny Stills. Kenny Stills. Kenny Stills. You can't spot the Saints 3 turnovers AND give up two bombs to Kenny Stills. The Saints
are on top of their division by two games and sit just a half game behind the Seahawks for first place in the NFC West. The Bills fall to 3-5, but still just a game and a half out of
the last playoff spot. So what if there are seven teams that stand in their way?
LANCE GON DANCE LIKE HE GOT ANTS IN HIS PANTS
Thad Lewis, NFL Quarterback:
Giants 15, Eagles 7
If you had to watch this game, I'm sorry. The Eagles' elite new offense gained 200 total yards and were shut out - their only score of the day was on a bad snap on a punt recovered for
a TD. Not like the Giants were much better, gaining 325 total yards and kicking five field goals. There are a bunch of fantasy contributors on both teams that had meh days thanks to no
offensive TD's, from Shady McCoy (15 runs for 48 and 4 catches for 17) to DeSean Jackson (8 catches for 63) to Victor Cruz (7 catches for 86 yards). Waiver wire favorite Peyton Hillis
ran 20 times for 70 yards and caught 3 passes for 15, so he was at least servicable. With the Cowgirls' loss, the Eagles stay just one game out of the NFC East lead while the Giants
creep up to just two games back (despite having a 19 point worse differential than winless Tampa Bay). This is just sad.
Um, ouch
There were plenty of lowlights:
Matt Barkley, NFL Quarterback
49ers 42, Jaguars 10
Welp, it's not like we expected anything different to happen. Just because it's in London doesn't mean the Jaguars are suddenly good and the 49ers are suddenly terrible. The Niners
scored early and often, taking a 28-0 lead in the game's first 23:11. Jacksonville tacked on the next 10 points, but it was still no contest. Frank Gore and Colin Kaepernick each ran
for two TD's and the 49ers carried 38 times for 221 yards in the game. MJD looked alive, running 19 times for 75 yards and catching 6 passes for 47 yards but for no TD's because
Jaguars. The 49ers are still just a game back from Seattle for first in the NFC West while Jacksonville is terrible and holds a half game lead on Tampa Bay for worst in the league.
Kaep Party
No love for you, #49. Only love for my bicep.
ENGLAND, WHY DO WE EVEN LET YOU BE A COUNTRY?
The Jaguras' season in a nutshell:
Bengals 49, Jets 9
Marvin Jones scored four touchdowns despite only playing 19 snaps in this game. Andy Dalton went a cool, gingery 19/30 for 325, 5 TD and a pick. Not wanting to be outdone, Geno Smith
threw 2 TD's of his own (to Cincy defensive backs, that is). The Jets' backfield went from "oh, nice, they have a clear starting RB!" back to "WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK ARE THEY DOING AT
RB?!?" with Chris Ivory, Bilal Powell and Alex Green splitting 19 carries for a grand total of 50 yards. When Matt Simms leads your team in rushing by 15 yards, you're doing it wrong.
WHO IS MARVIN JONES AND WHY DID HE CATCH FOUR GINGERBALLS FOR TD'S?
Um, ouch
Broncos 45, Redskins 21
Remember when the Redskins led 21-7 midway through the third quarter? Or took a 21-14 lead into the fourth? Well, the Broncos scored 38 points in a row to end the game, including 31 in
the fourth quarter. The Skins turned the ball over five times (2 INT, 1 fumble by RGIII, 2 INT, 1 being a pick-six by Kirk Cousins), which is always a good idea if you're trying to
beat the best team in the league (sorry, Chiefs, but you're just not). Peyton Manning shook off the cobwebs in the fourth and ended up going 30/44 for 354, 4 TD and 3 picks (one
pick-six to MeAngelo Hall); Knowshon Moreno, Wes Welker, Demaryius Thomas and Joel Dreessen caught the magicmanningballz in the end zone for scores. Jordan Reed looked good again (8
catches for 90 yards) and Alfred Morris was solid (17 for 93 and a TD) but the Skins inexplicably stopped running the ball altogether in the third quarter and changed their gameplan to
RGIII throwing derpy armpunts 10 yards past any receiver, which was fun.
The Broncos still lurk a game behind the Chiefs for first place in the AFC West (and the AFC) while the Skins are just a game and a half behind Dallass for the NFC East title. That's
just sad.
The Redskins' only offensive highlight of the day:
Welp, at least they handled Peyton Manning (kinda):
Von Miller is back
If RGIII is hurt badly, I will cry
Um, ouch. No flag on the play, either. QB'S ARE SISSIES AMIRITE
Raiders 21, Steelers 18
The Redskins are the only team to beat the Raiders at home this year. Three first half rushing TD's gave the Raiders just enough to escape with the W. Terrelle Pryor had more rushing
yards on his first run than he had passing all day (93 to 88) and threw two picks, but it was good enough to win. Seriously, the Raiders had one first down and 35 yards of total
offense in the second half AND WON THE GAME. Big Ben tried to rally the Stillers in the fourth, and Le'Veon Bell punched in a run with 1:24 left to bring the Raiders' lead to 3, but
the Raiders got the onside kick and beat the Steelers and hahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahhaha
Oakland is just a game out of the last wild card spot and Pittsburgh is two back.
Terrelle Pryor 1, Steelers' D 0 (er, I guess 6-0?)
The Milledgeville, GA Police Department can confirm that Roethlisberger is a tough guy to take down.
I love me some fat guy sacks. Wait, that came out wrong.
Cardinals 27, Falcons 13
Goodness gracious, what happened to the Falcons? I know they're decimated by injuries, but a two touchdown loss to the Cardinals? At least in their other four losses, they kept it
within a TD. Sweet Karma caught up with Matt Ryan, as he went 34 for 61 (!) for 301 yards, 1 TD and 4 picks. The Falcons only attempted 14 carries and Matt Ryan was their leading
rusher with 13 yards. Steven Jackson ran 11 times for 6 yards in his return to the lineup. Harry Douglas did catch 12 balls for 121 yards. Oh wait, I should talk about the team that
won, shouldn't I? Carson Palmer was 13/18 for 171 and 2 TD (1 pick), Andre Ellington carried 15 times for 154 yards, including an 80 yard TD run, and Larry Fitzgerald caught 4 passes
for 48 yards and a TD.
The Cardinals are a game out of the last wildcard spot and head into their bye this week likely feeling pretty good about themselves at 4-4, while the Falcons are two and a half games
out of a wild card spot with a bevy of tough games remaining on their schedule (SEA, NO, @GB, @SF, CAR and @CAR). Good thing I "bought low" on their Super Bowl odds after their week 3
loss to Miami.
I found no GIFs from this game and am not really upset about that. Maybe I'll dig around for that Andre Ellington run.
Packers 44, Vikings 31
If you like points and big plays, this game was awesome. Cordarrelle Patterson took the opening kickoff back for an NFL record-setting 109 yard TD, which is cool. Jordy Nelson caught a
76 yard TD pass and after forcing a three and out, Micah Hyde had a 93 yard punt return TD to give the Packers a 2 TD lead late in the first half. Aaron Rodgers was surgical, going
24/29 for 285 yards and 2 TD's. Eddie Lacy had another nice game, carrying 29 times for 94 yards and a TD. Jarrett Boykin caught 5 passes for 89 yards, which is exciting. Adrian
Peterson had another good-not-great game, running 13 times for 60 yards and a TD and catching three passes for 23 yards. Cordarrelle Patterson is good at returning kickoffs 109 yards
for TD's.
This was Cordarrelle Patterson scoring the longest kickoff return TD in NFL history.
Jordy Nelson can run 76 yards faster than I can
Sometimes you just gotta do things yourself. Especially if you play for the Vikings
Seahawks 14, Rams 9
If you watched this game, you were rewarded with an exciting final minute after 59 minutes of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. The Seahawks had 135 yards of total offense, 80 of which came on the
Golden Tate taunting play that I thought should have been picked off. Even when they're awful, they win. Zac Stacy ran 26 times for 134 yards, but Kellen Clemens is terrible (15 for 31
for 158 and 2 picks). I lost in a different fantasy league thanks to Golden Tate's second TD. DAMMIT.
Seattle is still first in the NFC, leading NO by half of a game and SF by a whole game in the division. St Louis is two games out of the final wild card spot in the NFC.
How the F did the Rams not score a TD at the end? And no, I'm not referring to their actual chances on their last play (because it was a stupid play). I'm talking about having like
100000 chances from within the red zone.
In case you wondered, you don't have to be a good football player to taunt the shit out of the other team. Exhibit A: Golden Tate.
Robert Quinn had back to back sacks:
Sources:
http://www.gifdsports.com/
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-16-best-gifs-from-nfl-week-8-2013-10
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