Week 2 Recap
Week 2 is in the books. Here are your Fantasy and NFL recaps. Week 1's Recap can be found here.
Team Sexton 162, Juicy J 94
Sweet baby Jesus, did Team Sexton have a week or what? Between his entire roster, only four players didn't score double digit points, and 2 of those were Gronk and Josh Gordon who were out this week. The Sexmen got huge perforamnces from their 4 receiving men: 34 from DeSean Jackson, 27 from Randall Cobb, 24 from Brandon Marshall and 18 from Antonio Gates. His RB situation may get a bit sticky if Reggie Bush has to miss time with Lamar Miller, Daryl Richardson and Knowshon Moreno as the backups, though. Poor Juicy J never had a chance after a stinker from Stevan Ridley on Thursday and an early injury to Eddie Lacy on Sunday. It was going to be a rough week regardless, with Roddy White banged up and Anquan Boldin and Vernon Davis playing the studly Seattle D. The good news? John still has his good looks going for him.
Titsburgh Feelers 159, Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend 136
Brett and his Tittyboys rode great outings from Marshawn Lynch (33 points), Julio Jones (35) and Martellus Bennett (26) to victory. His Flex spot may get tricky as the season goes on if David Wilson doesn't step his game up, but there's still a lot of talent on this team. Peter got unlucky this week, putting up a solid 136 points in a nice all-around effort. Only his D and Kicker scored less than 10 points, but he had no Lynch/Jones 30+ point performance to put him on top. Peter's squad is very deep at WR, with five players scoring 10+ points this week (and none of them are scrubs: Demaryius Thomas, Vincent Jackson, Dwayne Bowe, James Jones and Torrey Smith). His squad still looks good, despite the loss.
Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe 138, SCLSU Mud Dogs 130
Each squad here had two players really carry the team this week: Dez Bryant (29) and Jimmy Graham (33) for the Dwayne Bowes and Megatron (29) and Pierre Garcon (28) for the Tater Tots. Both teams put up solid across-the-board performances, and both left four 12+ point players on the bench.
Miley's VMA Foam Finger 117, Shmitty Werbenmanjensen 84
The Peyton Manning-Wes Welker connection only got Aziz 32 points this week, but he got solid performances out of CJ Spiller (16) and Jordy Nelson (21) to seal the deal. Aziz left three 15+ point receivers on the bench in Mike Wallace (26), Julian Edelman (20) and Malcom Floyd (15), but had nowhere to put them anyways with Welker, Nelson and AJ Green in the starting lineup. The Shmitty Shmitts saw two dud performances out of Frank Gore (3) and the Steelers D (0), getting double digit points out of the rest of the roster. They were undone by having nobody score over 16 points, however, and got just 12 out of Drew Brees.
Team Edwards 102, Team Kelly 101
It was a good week for the Bennie Babies, as his Bungholes beat Pittsburgh on MNF and his fantasy team won by 1 point follosing SNF. Team Edwards got standout performances from Tavon Austin (22 points), Seattle's D (19) and Rashard Mendenhall (16) to offset meh weeks from Tom Brady (11), Adrian Peterson (9) and Jason Witten (4). Team Kelly looked like they had the game in hand, up 18 going into Sunday Night, but they couldn't hold on. Their trio of RB's (Ray Rice, Steven Jackson and Maurice Jones-Drew) all got banged up and combined to score just 14 points. Michael Vick and Victor Cruz carried this team almost to victory, and Tyler will have to hope at least 1 of his 3 RB's can play this week, with just Pierre Thomas on the bench to back them all up.
Here are your NFL Gif-caps!
Patriots 13, Jets 10
Woof, this was an ugly game to start off the week. The Pats were rolling early, scoring 10 points in the game's first 6 minutes, but abruptly stopped playing football and had 6 LESS FIRST DOWNS AND 86 LESS TOTAL YARDS THAN GENO SMITH AND THE JETS. TOM BRADY'S FACE WHEN:
D'Brickashaw Ferguson is really mad about VT's upcoming decade of dominance over UVA and decided to take it out on a Patriot defensive lineman:
The Jets decided to have a ghost return their punts:
Falcons 31, Rams 24
This must have been a long game - the teams combined to go 65/98 passing for 709 yards and 34 carries for 105 yards on the ground. Roddy White's injury didn't slow Julio Jones down, as he exploded for 11 catches, 182 yards and a TD on 14 targets. Steven Jackson had just 3 carries for 0 yards before leaving with a thigh injury, which is surprising if you have terrible anticipation skills.
Also, ouch:
Bills 24, Panthers 23
This would have been a really fun and exciting game to watch if anybody gave a shit about the Bills or Panthers, as neither team ever lead by more than 8 points and the Bills came behind to score a game-winning TD with 2 seconds left. Or, as the Bills' twitter account thought, was a game-tying TD with 2 seconds left:
EJ Manuel has 446 yards passing, 3 TD:1 INT and a 68.2 completion percentage through his first two games. It's a bit early to look too far into this, but he certainly looks better than I expected him to.
Deadspin and Bleacher Report didn't have any gifs from this game, so I went to my third biggest gif-related read, Black Sports Online for this one:
Bears 31, Vikings 30
The Vikings found a way to score 30 points with only 1 offensive touchdown (and not even from Adrian Peterson!). They had every chance to punch it in, but settled for sub-30 yard three field goals from Blair Walsh in the last 18 minutes of the game before losing with 10 seconds left on a Martellus Bennett TD. Matt Forte had a Matt Forte day, putting up 90 yards rushing and 71 receiving (11 catches!!!) but with no TD's.
Who wants to see a ref get nailed by Jay Cutler? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Pretty much everyone but Jay Cutler wanted to see that.
Also, when did Sam Steele Ponder's hubby turn into an immovable object?
Packers 38, Redskins 20
For the second straight week, the Skins have decided to go behind by 4 scores before realizing "oh shit, we have a game today?!?" The score looks closer than the game, as Aaron Rodgers dropped a Cleveland Steamer onto the Skins' D. Rodgers tied the franchise single game passing record (the last 18 months have just been awesome for Matt Flynn), and James Jones went 11 catches for 178 yards on 12 targets a week after having 0 catches on 2 targets.
Brandon Meriweather is on my team, but I do not like him doing this to Eddie Lacy. What do you expect out of someone from DA UUUUUUUUU, though?
Note to future Redskins opponents: all you have to do to get massive yardage against the Skins' defense is get a runner around their secondary. ARM TACKLE NATION!
But in all seriousness, a pylon could play better defense than the Skins' secondary:
Dolphins 24, Colts 20
The Dolphins are 2-0! The Dolphins are 2-0! Break up the Dolphins!! They've done so by beating 2 crappy teams (you can debate me on the Colts all day, but they went 10-6 last year against a horrifyingly easy schedule AND 2 OF THOSE LOSSES WERE TO THE JAGUARS AND JETS).
Anyways, back to the present. This game was a bit strange to me because each team put up a decent amount of yardage and just turned the ball over once as well, but only went for 44 points. Mike Wallace and TY Hilton each had 115+ yards, providing great value as #3 WR's and Fins FB Charles Clay had over 100 yards receiving and vultured a 1 yard TD on his only carry. The Dolphins had 0 penalties, which is weird.
Couldn't find a GIF of this game. Not complaining.
Chiefs 17, Cowgirls 16
Andy Reid is the all-time leader in victories against the Cowgirls (18), and added to that total on Sunday in another ugly game. The Cowgirls got a big game out of Dez Bryant (141 yards on 9 catches, 1 TD), but couldn't establish a run game at all (16 carries for 37 yards, 12 of which were on Lance Dunbar's fumble). The Chiefs had a nice drive to ice the game, marching 38 yards and taking up 3:34 of clock, leaving the Cowgirls just 16 seconds on the clock and the ball at their 4 yard line.
Romo's gonna Romo.
This was a really good punt:
Chargers 33, Iggles 30
The Iggles' offense looked really good again, this time advancing 511 yards on 58 plays (and using just 19:43 of game clock, yikes!). They were undone by penalties (9 for 82 yards) and their defense, as Philip Rivers lit them up for 419 yards and 3 scores, all to my boy Eddie Royal!!!
This looks like it hurt:
To make matters worse for Iggles fans, Deadspin wrote yesterday that the Iggles had a deal in place before the 2012 draft to trade their 2nd round pick for Colin Kaepernick. They pulled the deal off of the table because they were positive they were going to get Russell Wilson in the third round. And they ended up with Nick "Napoleon Dynamite" Foles instead of either. LOL.
Ravens 14, Browns 6
Remember when the Ravens won the Super Bowl last year? They looked like garbage for the second straight week. The Browns pitched a shutout for the first 40 minutes before Bernard Pierce and Marlon Brown scored TD's in the last 20. Ray Rice left the game with a strained hip flexor and lost a fumble. Brandon Wheeden got hurt for the Browns, improving their chances to win in future weeks. No GIFs could be found, so here's Vladimir Putin making balloon animals:
Texans 30, Titans 24
This game was a lot closer than expected, with Arian Foster tying it late in the 4th and DeAndre Hopkins sealing the deal in overtime with a 25 yard catch to get the ball inside the 5 and then a 3 yard TD. Jake Locker being Jake Locker found a way to turn a 2 TD 0 INT game into something that looked like crap by completing barely over 50% of his passes for just 148 yards. His counterpart Matt Schaub handled the ball just as bad, which is surprising since he had plenty of experience with balls at UVA. And holy crap, Randy Bullock missed four straight kicks thatcould have won it.
The game winning TD:
Cardinals 25, Lions 21
Calvin Johnson redeemed himself with two TD's after having two taken away from him in week 1, but it wasn't enough for the Lions to come out on top. I shudder to think what Megatron will do to the Skins' defense next week. Matt Stafford had a fairly nice day (67% completion percentage, 278 yards, 2 TD/0 INT) but the Lions had no running game (20 carries for 49 yards total). Larry Fitzgerald played through pain for just 2 catches and 33 yards on 5 targets, so Patrick Peterson stepped up, tossing a 17 yard gain and catching one as well. He does everything else, so why not?!?
Peterson's pass:
Saints 16, Buccaneers 14
The Saints are 2-0 despite looking like crap and the Bucs are 0-2 despite leading into the last minute in both of their games. Drew Brees had a pedestrian day for Drew Brees, throwing 57% for 322 yards, 1 TD and 2 INT. Jimmy Graham had a fantastic game, catching the ball 10 times for 179 yards and 1 TD on 16 targets. For the Bucs, Josh Freeman looked like a dumpster baby covered in wet shoes and armpit hair, completing just 41% of his passes for 1 TD and 1 pick. Doug Martin had a nice day with 29 carries for 144 yards but couldn't get into the end zone.
Not quite a FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN!!! but as close as we got this week:
Raiders 19, Jaguars 9
This was a game. 12 of the points were scored by Marcel Reece and Clay Harbor and the other 16 were scored by Josh Scobee and Sebastian Janikowski. Carry on, no need to waste our lives by paying more attention to this game.
Charles Woodson still has it, though:
This is how I imagine every play looked from the Jags/Raiders game:
Broncos 41, Giants 23
The Manning Bowl was a great game going into the fourth quarter, but the Broncos pulled away late with a big win for the second straight week. Little bro threw for 362 yards to big bro's 307, but also had 4 picks #CLASSICELI. Knowshon Moreno had the best fantasy day out of the non-QB's, running for 93 yards on 13 carries with 2 TD's.
Peyton is hungry for more TD's:
Brandon Jacobs exists again:
Trindon Holliday is good at running away from people in blue shirts and grey pants:
Shehawks 29, 49ers 3
This game did not live up to my expectations. I'm not surprised by the 497 combined total yards between the two teams or anything. I was just disappointed that the 49ers didn't show up to play at all. Colin Kaeperpick went 13/28 passing for 127 yards and threw 3 picks and Russell Wilson was 8/19 for 142, 1 TD and 1 INT, but hey, READ OPTION! The game was 5-0 at halftime, and Marshawn Lynch took 3 balls to the house in the second half.
Sidney Rice got the first ball-spinning penalty after killing Eric Reid in a collision:
Marshawn Lynch is wondering where everybody went:
Richard Sherman got some cheerleader lovin after picking off Colin Kaeperpick:
Richard Sherman also got him some booty lovin from Jim Harbaugh after the game. SHAWTY GOT A BIG OLE BUTT OH YEAHHHHHHHH
Bengals 20, Steelers 10
This was an important win for the Bengals, as the Steelers have a 53-33 all-time record vs Cincinnati, including a 5-1 record over the last three years. Andy Dalton didn't look great, completing 56% of his passes for 280, but didn't turn the ball over. While Benjarvus Green-Ellis carried the larger load (22 carries for 75 yards), Giovani Bernard broke out with both a rushing and receiving TD. Time will tell whether or not Bernard will take command of a larger role in the offense, but he'll certainly get more touches. From the Steelers side, there was no run game (16 carries for 44 yards) and Big Ben went 20/37 for 251 yards, 1 TD and 1 pick. It wasn't an overly exciting game, as both defenses took turns cockblocking the opposing offenses, but a big one for Cincy nonetheless.
Giovani Bernard is fast dot com:
David Paulson fumbled after a 34 yard gain:
There was an intereception in the football game:
James Harrison hologram:
Last but not least, if you haven't paid yet, I still need the $20. Please either mail me a check, give me cash or PayPal me (sean.t.hogan@gmail.com). If you don't pay, I will rip your head off and shit down your neck.
Team Sexton 162, Juicy J 94
Sweet baby Jesus, did Team Sexton have a week or what? Between his entire roster, only four players didn't score double digit points, and 2 of those were Gronk and Josh Gordon who were out this week. The Sexmen got huge perforamnces from their 4 receiving men: 34 from DeSean Jackson, 27 from Randall Cobb, 24 from Brandon Marshall and 18 from Antonio Gates. His RB situation may get a bit sticky if Reggie Bush has to miss time with Lamar Miller, Daryl Richardson and Knowshon Moreno as the backups, though. Poor Juicy J never had a chance after a stinker from Stevan Ridley on Thursday and an early injury to Eddie Lacy on Sunday. It was going to be a rough week regardless, with Roddy White banged up and Anquan Boldin and Vernon Davis playing the studly Seattle D. The good news? John still has his good looks going for him.
Titsburgh Feelers 159, Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend 136
Brett and his Tittyboys rode great outings from Marshawn Lynch (33 points), Julio Jones (35) and Martellus Bennett (26) to victory. His Flex spot may get tricky as the season goes on if David Wilson doesn't step his game up, but there's still a lot of talent on this team. Peter got unlucky this week, putting up a solid 136 points in a nice all-around effort. Only his D and Kicker scored less than 10 points, but he had no Lynch/Jones 30+ point performance to put him on top. Peter's squad is very deep at WR, with five players scoring 10+ points this week (and none of them are scrubs: Demaryius Thomas, Vincent Jackson, Dwayne Bowe, James Jones and Torrey Smith). His squad still looks good, despite the loss.
Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe 138, SCLSU Mud Dogs 130
Each squad here had two players really carry the team this week: Dez Bryant (29) and Jimmy Graham (33) for the Dwayne Bowes and Megatron (29) and Pierre Garcon (28) for the Tater Tots. Both teams put up solid across-the-board performances, and both left four 12+ point players on the bench.
Miley's VMA Foam Finger 117, Shmitty Werbenmanjensen 84
The Peyton Manning-Wes Welker connection only got Aziz 32 points this week, but he got solid performances out of CJ Spiller (16) and Jordy Nelson (21) to seal the deal. Aziz left three 15+ point receivers on the bench in Mike Wallace (26), Julian Edelman (20) and Malcom Floyd (15), but had nowhere to put them anyways with Welker, Nelson and AJ Green in the starting lineup. The Shmitty Shmitts saw two dud performances out of Frank Gore (3) and the Steelers D (0), getting double digit points out of the rest of the roster. They were undone by having nobody score over 16 points, however, and got just 12 out of Drew Brees.
Team Edwards 102, Team Kelly 101
It was a good week for the Bennie Babies, as his Bungholes beat Pittsburgh on MNF and his fantasy team won by 1 point follosing SNF. Team Edwards got standout performances from Tavon Austin (22 points), Seattle's D (19) and Rashard Mendenhall (16) to offset meh weeks from Tom Brady (11), Adrian Peterson (9) and Jason Witten (4). Team Kelly looked like they had the game in hand, up 18 going into Sunday Night, but they couldn't hold on. Their trio of RB's (Ray Rice, Steven Jackson and Maurice Jones-Drew) all got banged up and combined to score just 14 points. Michael Vick and Victor Cruz carried this team almost to victory, and Tyler will have to hope at least 1 of his 3 RB's can play this week, with just Pierre Thomas on the bench to back them all up.
Here are your NFL Gif-caps!
Patriots 13, Jets 10
Woof, this was an ugly game to start off the week. The Pats were rolling early, scoring 10 points in the game's first 6 minutes, but abruptly stopped playing football and had 6 LESS FIRST DOWNS AND 86 LESS TOTAL YARDS THAN GENO SMITH AND THE JETS. TOM BRADY'S FACE WHEN:
D'Brickashaw Ferguson is really mad about VT's upcoming decade of dominance over UVA and decided to take it out on a Patriot defensive lineman:
The Jets decided to have a ghost return their punts:
Falcons 31, Rams 24
This must have been a long game - the teams combined to go 65/98 passing for 709 yards and 34 carries for 105 yards on the ground. Roddy White's injury didn't slow Julio Jones down, as he exploded for 11 catches, 182 yards and a TD on 14 targets. Steven Jackson had just 3 carries for 0 yards before leaving with a thigh injury, which is surprising if you have terrible anticipation skills.
Also, ouch:
Bills 24, Panthers 23
This would have been a really fun and exciting game to watch if anybody gave a shit about the Bills or Panthers, as neither team ever lead by more than 8 points and the Bills came behind to score a game-winning TD with 2 seconds left. Or, as the Bills' twitter account thought, was a game-tying TD with 2 seconds left:
EJ Manuel has 446 yards passing, 3 TD:1 INT and a 68.2 completion percentage through his first two games. It's a bit early to look too far into this, but he certainly looks better than I expected him to.
Deadspin and Bleacher Report didn't have any gifs from this game, so I went to my third biggest gif-related read, Black Sports Online for this one:
Bears 31, Vikings 30
The Vikings found a way to score 30 points with only 1 offensive touchdown (and not even from Adrian Peterson!). They had every chance to punch it in, but settled for sub-30 yard three field goals from Blair Walsh in the last 18 minutes of the game before losing with 10 seconds left on a Martellus Bennett TD. Matt Forte had a Matt Forte day, putting up 90 yards rushing and 71 receiving (11 catches!!!) but with no TD's.
Who wants to see a ref get nailed by Jay Cutler? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Pretty much everyone but Jay Cutler wanted to see that.
Also, when did Sam Steele Ponder's hubby turn into an immovable object?
Packers 38, Redskins 20
For the second straight week, the Skins have decided to go behind by 4 scores before realizing "oh shit, we have a game today?!?" The score looks closer than the game, as Aaron Rodgers dropped a Cleveland Steamer onto the Skins' D. Rodgers tied the franchise single game passing record (the last 18 months have just been awesome for Matt Flynn), and James Jones went 11 catches for 178 yards on 12 targets a week after having 0 catches on 2 targets.
Brandon Meriweather is on my team, but I do not like him doing this to Eddie Lacy. What do you expect out of someone from DA UUUUUUUUU, though?
Note to future Redskins opponents: all you have to do to get massive yardage against the Skins' defense is get a runner around their secondary. ARM TACKLE NATION!
But in all seriousness, a pylon could play better defense than the Skins' secondary:
Dolphins 24, Colts 20
The Dolphins are 2-0! The Dolphins are 2-0! Break up the Dolphins!! They've done so by beating 2 crappy teams (you can debate me on the Colts all day, but they went 10-6 last year against a horrifyingly easy schedule AND 2 OF THOSE LOSSES WERE TO THE JAGUARS AND JETS).
Anyways, back to the present. This game was a bit strange to me because each team put up a decent amount of yardage and just turned the ball over once as well, but only went for 44 points. Mike Wallace and TY Hilton each had 115+ yards, providing great value as #3 WR's and Fins FB Charles Clay had over 100 yards receiving and vultured a 1 yard TD on his only carry. The Dolphins had 0 penalties, which is weird.
Couldn't find a GIF of this game. Not complaining.
Chiefs 17, Cowgirls 16
Andy Reid is the all-time leader in victories against the Cowgirls (18), and added to that total on Sunday in another ugly game. The Cowgirls got a big game out of Dez Bryant (141 yards on 9 catches, 1 TD), but couldn't establish a run game at all (16 carries for 37 yards, 12 of which were on Lance Dunbar's fumble). The Chiefs had a nice drive to ice the game, marching 38 yards and taking up 3:34 of clock, leaving the Cowgirls just 16 seconds on the clock and the ball at their 4 yard line.
Romo's gonna Romo.
This was a really good punt:
Chargers 33, Iggles 30
The Iggles' offense looked really good again, this time advancing 511 yards on 58 plays (and using just 19:43 of game clock, yikes!). They were undone by penalties (9 for 82 yards) and their defense, as Philip Rivers lit them up for 419 yards and 3 scores, all to my boy Eddie Royal!!!
This looks like it hurt:
To make matters worse for Iggles fans, Deadspin wrote yesterday that the Iggles had a deal in place before the 2012 draft to trade their 2nd round pick for Colin Kaepernick. They pulled the deal off of the table because they were positive they were going to get Russell Wilson in the third round. And they ended up with Nick "Napoleon Dynamite" Foles instead of either. LOL.
Ravens 14, Browns 6
Remember when the Ravens won the Super Bowl last year? They looked like garbage for the second straight week. The Browns pitched a shutout for the first 40 minutes before Bernard Pierce and Marlon Brown scored TD's in the last 20. Ray Rice left the game with a strained hip flexor and lost a fumble. Brandon Wheeden got hurt for the Browns, improving their chances to win in future weeks. No GIFs could be found, so here's Vladimir Putin making balloon animals:
Texans 30, Titans 24
This game was a lot closer than expected, with Arian Foster tying it late in the 4th and DeAndre Hopkins sealing the deal in overtime with a 25 yard catch to get the ball inside the 5 and then a 3 yard TD. Jake Locker being Jake Locker found a way to turn a 2 TD 0 INT game into something that looked like crap by completing barely over 50% of his passes for just 148 yards. His counterpart Matt Schaub handled the ball just as bad, which is surprising since he had plenty of experience with balls at UVA. And holy crap, Randy Bullock missed four straight kicks thatcould have won it.
The game winning TD:
Cardinals 25, Lions 21
Calvin Johnson redeemed himself with two TD's after having two taken away from him in week 1, but it wasn't enough for the Lions to come out on top. I shudder to think what Megatron will do to the Skins' defense next week. Matt Stafford had a fairly nice day (67% completion percentage, 278 yards, 2 TD/0 INT) but the Lions had no running game (20 carries for 49 yards total). Larry Fitzgerald played through pain for just 2 catches and 33 yards on 5 targets, so Patrick Peterson stepped up, tossing a 17 yard gain and catching one as well. He does everything else, so why not?!?
Peterson's pass:
Saints 16, Buccaneers 14
The Saints are 2-0 despite looking like crap and the Bucs are 0-2 despite leading into the last minute in both of their games. Drew Brees had a pedestrian day for Drew Brees, throwing 57% for 322 yards, 1 TD and 2 INT. Jimmy Graham had a fantastic game, catching the ball 10 times for 179 yards and 1 TD on 16 targets. For the Bucs, Josh Freeman looked like a dumpster baby covered in wet shoes and armpit hair, completing just 41% of his passes for 1 TD and 1 pick. Doug Martin had a nice day with 29 carries for 144 yards but couldn't get into the end zone.
Not quite a FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN!!! but as close as we got this week:
Raiders 19, Jaguars 9
This was a game. 12 of the points were scored by Marcel Reece and Clay Harbor and the other 16 were scored by Josh Scobee and Sebastian Janikowski. Carry on, no need to waste our lives by paying more attention to this game.
Charles Woodson still has it, though:
This is how I imagine every play looked from the Jags/Raiders game:
Broncos 41, Giants 23
The Manning Bowl was a great game going into the fourth quarter, but the Broncos pulled away late with a big win for the second straight week. Little bro threw for 362 yards to big bro's 307, but also had 4 picks #CLASSICELI. Knowshon Moreno had the best fantasy day out of the non-QB's, running for 93 yards on 13 carries with 2 TD's.
Peyton is hungry for more TD's:
Brandon Jacobs exists again:
Trindon Holliday is good at running away from people in blue shirts and grey pants:
Shehawks 29, 49ers 3
This game did not live up to my expectations. I'm not surprised by the 497 combined total yards between the two teams or anything. I was just disappointed that the 49ers didn't show up to play at all. Colin Kaeperpick went 13/28 passing for 127 yards and threw 3 picks and Russell Wilson was 8/19 for 142, 1 TD and 1 INT, but hey, READ OPTION! The game was 5-0 at halftime, and Marshawn Lynch took 3 balls to the house in the second half.
Sidney Rice got the first ball-spinning penalty after killing Eric Reid in a collision:
Marshawn Lynch is wondering where everybody went:
Richard Sherman got some cheerleader lovin after picking off Colin Kaeperpick:
Richard Sherman also got him some booty lovin from Jim Harbaugh after the game. SHAWTY GOT A BIG OLE BUTT OH YEAHHHHHHHH
Bengals 20, Steelers 10
This was an important win for the Bengals, as the Steelers have a 53-33 all-time record vs Cincinnati, including a 5-1 record over the last three years. Andy Dalton didn't look great, completing 56% of his passes for 280, but didn't turn the ball over. While Benjarvus Green-Ellis carried the larger load (22 carries for 75 yards), Giovani Bernard broke out with both a rushing and receiving TD. Time will tell whether or not Bernard will take command of a larger role in the offense, but he'll certainly get more touches. From the Steelers side, there was no run game (16 carries for 44 yards) and Big Ben went 20/37 for 251 yards, 1 TD and 1 pick. It wasn't an overly exciting game, as both defenses took turns cockblocking the opposing offenses, but a big one for Cincy nonetheless.
Giovani Bernard is fast dot com:
David Paulson fumbled after a 34 yard gain:
There was an intereception in the football game:
James Harrison hologram:
Last but not least, if you haven't paid yet, I still need the $20. Please either mail me a check, give me cash or PayPal me (sean.t.hogan@gmail.com). If you don't pay, I will rip your head off and shit down your neck.
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